“Parenting is the only job where if you do it right, you work yourself out of a job.” -Unknown

This week we watched our youngest son load a UHaul, and a girlfriend and 2 cats and drive to his new home in a state far away. Very far away. We went with him, driving his car for him fretting quietly and hoping to smoothe the way and be helpful.

As we rolled past wind farms, and mighty rivers, and little towns getting ready for Independence Day parades and miles and miles of corn, it occurred to me that he is rolling even further away from me.

As the journey continued I began to see how mature and responsible he is, how competent and confident. He didn’t really need us at all. I saw him, fully for the first time, as the man he has become. A fine man.

I am at once relieved and proud, but I falter, no longer knowing what my role is. It is the middle of the play and I no longer know my lines.

The morning after we got there I am having breakfast in the hotel. An older man is trying unsuccessfully to get his young grandson to hurry up. Finally, the little blond boy turns to him and says:

“You’re not the main character here!”

I chuckle to myself and it comes to me that it is a message for me too. I am no longer the main character in my son’s story, if I ever was, and never will be again. My job is done, and has been for some time. I just didn’t realize it. He has taken flight out of the nest and is gone. The story is his from now on. From now on I will be at best a supporting character, and that is what I will do. And I remind myself that after all, if they play their parts well, supporting actors get Oscars too.

There are days of doing, followed by days of seeing and exploring, and then suddenly he is driving us to the airport. He gets our bags out without being asked. He hugs his Dad for a long time. The last hug is for me. He says:

“I love you Mom.”

And I say:

“I love you too son and I’m so proud of you.”

And then I turn and walk into the airport, and he turns to get into his car and drives away into the big adventure, the main character in his story.